Erlkönig: talking-dog.shtml

| A young boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the semester, he
| has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him.  "Hmmmm," he
| wonders, "How am I gonna get more dough?"  Then he gets an idea.  He calls
| his father.  "Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern
| education are coming up with!  Why, they actually have a program here that
| will teach Fido how to talk!"  "Why that's absolutely amazing!" his father
| says.  "How do I get him in that program?"  "Just send him down here with
| $1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course."  So, his brilliant
| father sends the dog and the $1000.
|       
| About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out.  So the boy calls
| his father again.  "So how's Fido doing, son?" his father asks.  "Awesome,
| dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this -
| now they have a program here that will teach Fido to READ!"  "READ!?"  says
| his father, "That's amazing!  What do I have to do to get him in that
| program?"  "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."  So his father
| sends the money.
|       
| At the end of the semester, the boy has a problem.  When he gets home, his
| father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read.  So he shoots
| the dog.  When he gets home, his father is all excited.
| 
| "Where's Fido?  I just can't wait to hear him talk and listen to him
| read something!"
| 
| "Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news.  This morning when I got out
| of the shower, Fido was in the living room kicking back in the recliner and
| reading the morning paper, like he usually does.  Then he turned to me and
| asked 'So, is your daddy still messin'' around with that little redhead
| that lives down on Oak Street?' "
| 
| The father says, "I hope you SHOT that lyin' sack of trash!"