Erlkönig: software-ads.shtml

Article 1324 of rec.humor.funny:
Path: ut-emx!cs.utexas.edu!rutgers!jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!utgpu!watmath!looking!funny-request
From: jss@Sun.COM (Josh Sirota)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: How to read electronics advertising
Keywords: computer, chuckle
Message-ID: <18630@looking.on.ca>
Date: 21 Sep 89 10:30:06 GMT
Article-I.D.: looking.18630
Posted: Thu Sep 21 05:30:06 1989
Sender: funny@looking.on.ca
Lines: 39
Approved: funny@looking.on.ca
Reply-Path: Sun.COM!jss

This was posted to a Sun-local newsgroup.  Apparently it originated at HP.

        HOW TO READ AN ELECTRONICS ADVERTISMENT

 When It Says:                  It Really Means:
--------------                  ----------------
Available Now!                  We overstocked / We can't sell any.
                                (Alternative: We have a really hot
                                item at an outrageous price)

State-of-the-Art Design         We can't get the chips yet but we hope to
                                before manufacturing starts.

Proven reliability              Antiquated technology and obsolete parts.

Compatible with most systems    Favor us with a big enough order and we'll
                                start designing an interface

Tremendous expandibility        The unbundled "bare-bones" system with the
                                low advertised price is virtually useless.

User-friendly                   Slow, eats memory for lunch, and probably
                                won't meet your specific needs (but for a fat
                                consulting fee, we'll be happy to customize
                                it for you).

Advanced features               We couldn't get rid of the quirks/bugs in the
                                system, so we're pretending we planned them
                                all along.

Competitively priced            Costs less than IBM's.
--
Josh Sirota
Sun Microsystems, NSE group
--
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