![]() search |
TALISMAN
general
Information
Unix server |
|
mcdonalds-applicant.shtml
|
Erlkönig: mcdonalds-applicant.shtml> This is an actual job application someone submitted at a > McDonald's fast-food establishment ... and they hired him! > As what? > > 1. NAME: Greg Bulmash > > 2. DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, > whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I > wouldn't be applying here in the first place. > > 3. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a > Michael Ovitz-style severance package. If that's not possible, > make an offer and we can haggle. > > 4. EDUCATION: Yes. > > 5. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. > > 6. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. > > 7. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of > stolen pens and Post-it Notes. > > 8. REASON FOR LEAVING: It stank. > > 9. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. > > 10. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, > and Thursday. > > 11. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, > would I be here? > > 12. DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT > YOU FROM LIFTING (UP TO 50 LBS)?: Of what? > > 13. DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate > question here would be, "Do you have a car that runs?" > > 14. HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: > I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse > Sweepstakes. > > 15. DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire. > > 16. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living > in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks > I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like > to be doing that now. > > 17. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE > BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise. |