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Erlkönig: lightbulbs+students.shtmlHOW MANY STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB AT....... U.T. Austin: 50,000--One to change it and 49,999 to figure out which item it is on their tuiton and fees bill St. Edward's University: 20--One to change it and 19 to hold a class discussion on it's implications on Hispanic issues S. M. U.: Two--one to call the electrician and one to call daddy to pay the bill Princeton: Two--one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician Baylor: Eleven--one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience U. T. Brownsville: None--Brownsville doesn't have electricity Rice: Two--One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure Penn State: Only one, but he gets six credits for it Columbia: Seventy-six-- one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter protest Yale: None--New Haven looks better in the dark Harvard: One--he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him MIT: Five--one to design a nuclear powered one that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that nuked lightbulb two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the wall switch Vassar: Eleven--one to screw it and ten to support its sexual orientation Middlebury: Five--One to change the lightbulb and four to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion Stanford: One, duh Blinn Jr. College: Three--one to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one Holy Cross: Ten--one to change it, one back up if the first guy's too drunk and the other eight to pray that it works Georgetown: Four--one to change it, one to call Congress about their progress, and two to throw the old bulb at the American U. students Duke: A whole frat--but only one of them is sober enough to get the bulb out of the socket Sarah Lawrence: Five--one to change the bulb and four to do an interpretive dance about it D. P. S. Academy: Eight--it's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's just that they're all violently twitching from too much stress Boston College: Four--one to change the bulb and two to check his math homework Southwest Texas State: None--they were all too drunk to notice the light went out Virginia: Thirteen--Ten to form student committee to vote on whether changing light bulbs is a violation of the Honor Code, one to change the bulb, one to hold the keg he's standing on, and another to attribute electricity to Mr. Jefferson. Texas A. & M.: Seven--one to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time University of Texas System Police Academy: One--but you would never know about it because only D. P. S. and Austin P. D. get press for changing their lightbulbs Houston-Tillison - NONE - the administrators have to do it because none of the students could pass TASP University of Texas System Administration: NONE! - This requires at least 5 specially trained physical plant employees and at LEAST 3 days for the crew to arrive. One electrician to climb the ladder and determine the "proper" bulb; One electrician's helper to hold the ladder; One helper to go get the bulb; one to perform the delicate operation of extracting and replacing the bulb; and as this is a work crew of 4, it requires a supervisor for the detail. (Don't laugh! it took 3 days and the above crew to change the bulb above my desk!!!) |