Erlkönig: it-pays-to-confess.shtml

[collected 2003-03-28]

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose  woman."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy O'Shaughnessy?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the woman you were  with?"

"Sure and I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to be ruinin' her
 reputation."

"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell
 me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley? "

"I cannot say."

"Was it Patricia Kelly?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Liz Shannon?"

"I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."

"Was it Cathy Morgan?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy
Shaughnessy, I admire that.  But you've sinned, and you must atone. You
cannot attend church for 3 months.. Be off with you now."

Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers,
"What'd you get?"

"3 month's vacation and 5 good leads," says Tommy.

- - -