Erlkönig: classifieds.shtml

[collected 2002-02-27]

Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers:


FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.
----------------------------------
FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 COCKER SPANIEL
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
-----------------------------
FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG
---------------------------
GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
-------------------------------------
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
LOOKS LIKE A RAT...
BEEN OUT AWHILE..
BETTER BE REWARD.
-----------------------------------
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
----------------------------
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...
ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
-------------------------------
NORDIC TRACK $300
HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY
-------------------------------------
HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER -
"IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
----------------------------------------
GEORGIA PEACHES
CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
------------------------------------------
NICE PARACHUTE:
NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
-------------------------------------------
TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?
WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND
FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY:
$7 -- $9 PER HOUR.
----------------------------
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.
------------------------------------------
OPEN HOUSE
BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
---------------------------------------
FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.
Excellent condition.
$1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last
weekend. Wife knows everything.