Erlkönig: emoti-ass-cons.shtml

[collected 1997-11-25 with additions[*] from one collected 2000-01-27]

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons,"
where  :)  means a smile and :( is a frown.   Sometimes these are
represented by :-) and :-( respectively.

Well, how about some "asscons"?

      Here goes:

       (_!_)      a regular ass

      (__!__)     a fat ass

        (!)       a tight ass

       (_._)      a flat ass

       (_^_)      a bubble ass

       (_*_)      a sore ass

       (_!__)     a lop-sided ass

       {_!_}      a swishy ass

       (_o_)      an ass that's been around

       (_O_)      an ass that's been around even more

       (_x_)      kiss my ass

       (_X_)      leave my ass alone

       (_zzz_)    a tired ass

       (_o^o_)    a wise ass

*     (_E=mc2_)   a smart ass

       (_13_)     an unlucky ass

       (_$_)      Money coming out of his ass

       (_?_)      Dumb Ass

*      .oo*"""**oo.oo*""*oo..
      .  oo*"           "*o.o*"      "*o.
      . o"                   'o"             "o
       o                      o                 *o
      .o                       o                   'o
      o                         o                   o.
      o                          o                   o
      o                          \o/                  o
      o                         --0--                  o
      o.                         /o\                   o
      o                           o                    o
      o                           o                    o
      o                           o                  oo
      oo                         o                  oo
      oo.                       oo                oo
      'ooo.                  .oo.              ooo
      "o ""oo,,        ,,oO-'Oo,       ,,,,,oo"o
      o         """"""      oo    """""        .o
      'o                     oo                  o'
      *o                     oo                  o
      'o                     o                  o*
      o                     o                  o
      o                     o                 o
      o                    o                 o
      o                    o                 o
      o                    o                 o
      o                    o                 o

    You have been e-mooned!