Erlkönig: bill-gates-in-hell.shtml

>
> >>  Bill Gates dies in a car accident.
> >>  "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether
> >>to send you to Heaven or Hell.  After all, you enormously helped
> >>society by putting a
> >>computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that
> >>ghastly Windows 95. I'm going to do something I've never done before;
> >>in your case,
> >>I'm going to let you  decide where you want to go."
> >>  Bill replied, " Well, what's the difference between the two?"
> >>  God said,  "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly,  if it
> >>will help your decision."
> >>  "Fine, but where should I go first?"
> >>  "I'll leave that up to you."
> >>  "Okay then," said Bill, "Let me try Hell first."
> >>  So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with
> >>clear waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in
> >>the water, laughing and frolicking about.  The sun was shining, the
> >>temperature perfect.  He was very pleased.
> >>  "This is great!" he told God. "If this is hell, I
> >>REALLY want to see heaven!"
> >>  "Fine," said God, and off they went.  Heaven was a place high in the
> >>clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing.  It was
> >>nice, but not as enticing as Hell.
> >>  Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.  "Hmmmm.
> >> I think I'd prefer Hell, "he told God.
> >>  "Fine," retorted God, "as you desire."
> >>  So Bill Gates went to Hell.
> >>  Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire to see
> >>how he was doing in Hell.  When he got there, he found Bill, shackled
> >>to a wall,
> >>screaming amongst hot flames in a dark cave, being burned and tortured
> >>by demons.
> >>  "How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
> >>  Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and
> >>disappointment, "this is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I
> >>visited two weeks ago!  I can't believe this is happening! What
> >>happened to that other place, with the beaches, the beautiful women
> >>playing in  the water????!
> >>  "That was the screensaver," replied God.
> >>